I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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