I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
