Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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