this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
