She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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