How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
