Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
