I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
