I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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