Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER