Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned