I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
