I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
