My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
