Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
