dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
