My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
