You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
