We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
