he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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