is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
