We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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