would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Randomize