Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
