I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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