Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
