They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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