I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
