i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
