im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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