discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
