do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
