Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
