Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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