I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
