i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
