tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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