we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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