i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
