Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
