We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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