I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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