My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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