The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
