I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
