You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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