you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
is wine microwaveable?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.