i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.