I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
