what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
