U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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