I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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