just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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