I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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