Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
