Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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