PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
