One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
