woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
