bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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