that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
