By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
