he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
