He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
